CAN WE EMPHASIZE KIRUV AND NOT PROVIDE MARRIAGES FOR THE MIKUROVIM? (PART 1 OF 3)

Posted at mentalblog.com (Thread: Baaley Tshuva - worse than sephardim):

TA wrote: For Chabad to hold back their daughters from the full fledged Jews who joined their ranks upon their aggressive solicitations is dishonest and is a fatal spilling of blood.

This statement makes the preposterous seem reasonable.

1. Just because Jew A does Jew B a favor of reminding them of his inherent obligation to lead a Jewish life, does that mean that Jew B is now owed an additional favor of being able to marry Jew A's daughter?

2. Even if #1 were true, does said "daughter" have any say in deciding with whom she is to spend the rest of her life? Is she not entitled to choose someone with whom she shares a cultural bond? Or is the intensely private institution of marriage to be given over to public-policy makers? (as in “My daughter, just lie back and think of England!”)

3. Down with the constant BT whining about their "sacrifices"! Sacrifices of what? For whom? Who exactly had the most to gain here? Was it not the BT themselves, their ancestors and progeny?

4. Down with the constant BT wining about not being accepted! How hard does an average BT try to assimilate into the culture of the community they joined? I am not talking about a “beard and a hat” (see the Haaretz artice). I am talking language, cultural nuances, etc. I am talking about the kind of things every immigrant to a new society expects to have to do in order to gain acceptance.

Here is the real truth: too many BTs do not view frum people as human beings with the same emotional needs that human beings everywhere have (A reading of the Shylock’s monologue might be in order here). At the same time, for many BTs, their entire self image hinges on the “acceptance by the frum”. Would there be more “Z'ev Rosenberg” types that exhibit a healthy amount of independence and self-respect!

(Disclaimer: I am aware that the current cultural segregation of BTs in Lubavitch has origins on the aborigine side of the fence as well. I did not address it in this comment.)

berl, crown heights 10.06.05 - 10:10 pm #