SHIDDUCHIM FOR MIKUROVIM (PART 2 OF 3)

Originally Posted at mentalblog.com (Thread: Baaley Tshuva - worse than sephardim)

P A R T TWO (Continued from Wednesday):

Parents have the right and indeed and obligation to steer their children toward the kind of shidduch they feel will make their child happiest. Considerations of cultural compatibility are legitimate in this arena. Considerations of national / religious duty (as in "we must make the BT's feel welcomed, so let's introduce our Rochele to this nice BT guy") must not enter this picture.

None of this is in any way a contradiction to the precept of ahavas Yisroel, nor to the Chabad recruitment efforts.

Furthermore, drop the "false advertisement" idea. The new Chabad BTs have always been well aware that their chances of marrying born-and-bred Lubavitcher girls were slim to none. It was always one of the first questions raised by the interested college students at the pegishas in Crown Heights.

berl, crown heights 10.06.05 - 11:34 pm #

Which was questioned by Reb Tzemach Atlas:

I challenge you to find a mythological or historic precedent when a tribe invites new members to join and then forbids them to marry within the tribe. Find me an example.
Tzemach Atlas Homepage 10.06.05 - 11:42 pm #

Berl Responded:

I disagree with the notion of "forbids". That is not what I see around me. I maintain that the discrimination is real, but is 95% cultural, as is the case in every society with immigrants. It is tough to be a newcomer. Not for naught are we told that golus mechaperes.

berl, crown heights 10.06.05 - 11:51 pm #

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TA, I live "here". This is what I see - a BT community that functions in ways very reminiscent of ethnic immigrant communities. BTs socialize and marry mostly within the confines of their community. With some exceptions.

berl, crown heights 10.07.05 - 12:08 am #